Posted by: fighter | August 19, 2009

And Then The Fight Started…

Thanks to Facebook Notes, I had a good laugh today. So married couples, how do fights start? Read on and let this post make your day!

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, ‘I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.’

I bought her a weighing scale.

And then the fight started…

———————————————————-

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver’s license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.

The woman said, ‘Unbutton your shirt’. So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, ‘That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me’ and she processed my Social Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.

She said, ‘You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too.’

And then the fight started…

———————————————————-

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.

My wife asked, ‘Do you know her?’

‘Yes,’ I sighed, ‘She’s my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn’t been sober since.’

‘My God!’ says my wife, ‘who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?’

And then the fight started…

———————————————————-

I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.

“I’ll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.”

He said, “Aren’t you worried about the mad cow?””

Nah, she can order for herself.”

And then the fight started…

(My father-in-law would love this one!)

———————————

A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, ‘I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.’

The husband replies, ‘Your eyesight’s damn near perfect.’

And then the fight started…..

(I guess I am still lucky we haven’t had this conversation!)

————————————

I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95.

Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95.

I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream.

And then the fight started….

(Winning entry, hands down!)

——————————————–

A man and a woman were asleep like two innocent babies.

Suddenly, at 3 o’clock in the morning, a loud noise came from outside.

The woman, bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled at the man ‘Holy crap. That must be my husband!’

So the man jumped out of the bed; scared and naked jumped out the window. He smashed himself on the ground, ran through a thorn bush and to his car as fast as he could go.

A few minutes later he returned and went up to the bedroom and screamed at the woman, ‘I AM your husband!’

The woman yelled back, ‘Yeah, then why were you running?’

And then the fight started…..

—————————————————-

My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, “Do you want to have sex?”

“No,” she answered.

I then said, “Is that your final answer?”

She didn’t even look at me this time, simply saying “Yes.”

So I said, “Then I’d like to phone a friend.”

And that’s when the fight started….

———————————————————-

When our lawn mower broke and wouldn’t run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first: the truck, the car, e-mail, fishing, always something more important to me.

Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.

When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors.

I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I was gone only a few minutes. When I came out again I handed her a toothbrush.

‘When you finish cutting the grass,’ I said, ‘you might as well sweep the driveway.’

(And while you’re at it, you might as well take the trash out…)

And then the fight started…

Posted by: fighter | April 10, 2008

Am Moving

I feel a mixture of sadness and excitement.  I am moving to Blogger for certain reasons BUT I think I shall be continuing this blog.  Here’s my new home:

http://dreamwalkersquest.blogspot.com/

Hope to see you there!

Posted by: fighter | April 7, 2008

3D Virgin No More

As embarrassing as it may be, I have to admit that I had never seen a 3D movie until last Saturday.  And what a way to experience 3D for the first time!  I went to see the first ever 3D concert with Hannah and Nikki and boy, was it great!  The U2 3D movie should be watched by anyone who calls himself a decent U2 fan.  It makes me all the more excited about the rumor going around that U2 is coming to Manila in October.  Nikki told me that it is confirmed and that Petron is a sponsor.  I hope this is true – I’ll definitely be there!

Posted by: fighter | April 2, 2008

How Intuitive Am I?


You Are 76% Intuitive


You are a very intuitive person. And luckily, your intuition is normally right.
You’re wise enough to know that relying on intuition alone can be dangerous.
When your intuition seems really off, you tend to ignore it – and look at the facts instead.
Posted by: fighter | April 2, 2008

U23D Movie Widget

U23D Movie Widget

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